“Well, Excuuuuse meee!”

Being that I'm still heavily pregnant and going stir crazy waiting to give birth, we decided to take in a film last night. We went to see Shopgirl starring Steve Martin, Claire Danes and Jason Schwartzman. The film was only half the entertainment. Being that I'm a bit wiped out etc. we figured we would go out early and see the 5:45pm viewing. BIG MISTAKE.

Our first tip off was the huge line of sluggish seniors at the sales booth. Being technologically able, we dashed off to the side where two automated sales machines are located. My husband waited patiently on line behind one person using the machine on the left. As that customer stepped away my husband stepped forward for his turn. Apparently there was a problem with the machine on the right and "bitchy hemorrhoid harboring Long Island Lady" literally BARGED in front of him without so much as a word. My husband pointed out that "excuse me" or other such niceties would be in order. He is always a gentleman but is know to point out when people are just damned rude. The "lady" got in quite a snit and bitched that the machine was not working and he noted that it was fair enough, however communicating that in the 1st place would have been much more appropriate than her aggressive and rude behavior. HRUMPH... and all this bitchiness directed at a man supporting a HUGE pregnant woman.

After our ticket purchase we proceeded to purchase the popcorn and soda, which is being sold to us at a 40,000% mark up from the actual cost of corn and soda. Even though we got there at a reasonable time, hardly any seats were free. It seems all the old-timers had come to see this film and they like to get their seats early. I really don't have a problem with old people, but this bunch was really uptight. They're definitely an older crowd than the baby-boomers. I like most baby-boomers.

I never saw so much seat-saving, seat-switching and general maneuvering in a theatre before. We must've seen about 3 different couples sit down in front of us and then get up and go somewhere else. Finally the film began and after the 1st ten minutes, the grouch behind us said "I don't like this movie". His whiney wife said, "YOU picked it!" The whole time this dumpy duo continued to bitch about the film. It was PATHETIC. They should have gotten their dusty asses off their seats and out of the theatre. BUT NO, we had to listen to their ongoing commentary.

We ended up with 6 elderly people in front of us who also bitched through out the entire movie, but it was harder to hear what they were saying because they were in front of us.

I think these guys were all so pissed off because they failed to read the movie review. The film is a DRAMA and I think most of them presumed that because Steve Martin starred in it, that it would be one big laugh after another. It wasn't. It was also probably depressing to them because the 60year old Steve Martins character gets to hit the sack with a pretty 20-something girl. Certainly not a possibility for any of the crowd in the theatre last night.

I thought the film was great. Really great. It was very nicely filmed and totally captured the weirdness of how life turns out and how certain moments in your life can imprint on your brain forever.

Once the film ended it was yet another drama exiting the theatre. These old timers seem to think the aisle is a place for socializing, not a path to exit. They lingered and chatted and dawdled and lingered some more. Grrrrrr! At least the grouch behind us wasn't in the way. He'd jumped out of his seat and left his wife in the dust long before the 1st credit rolled.

Be warned, don't go to an early viewing of a film starring a baby-boomer actor/actress unless you're prepared to cope with any of what is mentioned above.